Thing of the Day....

Currently Gaming Resident Evil 4 By Capcom see related

Well, it's been a long time since I last updated.  So much has happened lately, it seems.  It's my summer break now--I arrived at home yesterday.  It hasn't hit me yet.

I do have a job lined up for the summer though, which is good.  I'll be doing an internship at my church, and I'm really excited about it.  It's for those of us who are in college who are interested in ministry, and since I want to go into missions now I jumped at the offer.

Speaking of missions, I'm also going to be leading the World Missions Fellowship on campus now.  It's just a small group of students who are interested in missions, something I've been doing all semester.  With Stephanie (the current leader) graduating, I was asked to consider leading it next year.  After some prayer, I decided I would.  It's a bit intimidating, but I'm really excited about it.  Hopefully work this summer will help me prepare for that some too.

I am starting to miss my friends, I think, in the back of my mind.  When I said it hadn't hit me yet that I'm home, I meant that I haven't yet realized that I can't knock on Tyler's door whenever I want, or IM Kristina about grabbing dinner.  I'm sure it will hit soon though.

What's harder is realizing that when I go back it will be so different.  A lot of my friends were seniors, a few others are transferring.  I'm excited about friends I have coming in (Brenton, Jordan) but it's going to be bittersweet to experience the change.  God is good though--I look forward to hearing what He is doing in their lives. 

Well, this whole entry is a little random, I know.  Just a general assembly of my thoughts.  I've got church tomorrow morning, so it's probably about time to get some sleep.

Currently Listening The Eleventh Hour By Jars of Clay see related

I'm in an odd mood tonight.  Restless, I guess.  I've got a long week ahead, but I am struggling to focus and remain motivated.  And it's not because I'm impatient for spring break...that really isn't factoring in at all.  No, there's something else going on, but I just can't place what exactly.

There've been a lot of thoughts/questions lingering in my mind lately.  Josh's message has become a challange to me over the last few days.  I'm not living for God much of the time still.  I'm still better at talking it than I am at living it.  This makes me uncomfortable, especially as the mission field lies on my heart.

I've noticed though that as I remove myself from Him, the burdens of the field grow faint.  That makes sense, though it is sad.  That is a burden that comes from sharing God's own heart when considering the condition of the unsaved.  When I begin to live for myself again rather than as a bondservant of Christ, that desire to seek the lost does fade, because it is not a human desire.

Wish we'd done our study tonight.  Understand why we didn't, but wish we had.  I really could have used that this evening.  The chapter was good, but discussion would have sharpened its point.  And I needed the accountability tonight.

Been working on my application for RA as well.  That's a humbling experience.  I mean, what I'm essentially doing is applying for a position of leadership, but at the same time I wrestle with these thoughts. Hmm.

"Father, forgive me for the many things I have put above You even today.  I look back on it and I see how I sought my own, rather than Yours.  Thank You for this feeling of discontent with that; thank You for having no patience with my complacency.  Left to myself, I would so easily fall over and over again, yet You choose to forgive and reinstate me time and time again, despite the ways I in my miserable humanity disappoint You.

"Jesus, I'm sorry for the ways I trample Your name by living for my own pleasure.  Lord Jesus, I've been struck lately by how You used the imagery of marriage to describe the church's relationship with You.  Given that metaphor, when we--I--turn to life's pleasures for my satisfaction, I make myself an adulterer, a whore to the world because I am not willing to be satisfied by You.  What a powerful picture of idolatry that is!  Keep me from it, I pray.  Let me always find my peace and my satisfaction in the depths of Your love, and not vain earthly pleasures.

"Spirit, You are the One who dwells within me.  How God sees fit to make me a temple wherein You might dwell is beyond me, but He does.  Help me to never forget this.  I want to live every minute remembering that God is that close.  If I remember that, I will never stray to idolatry--what would be its appeal when the complete and deep satisfaction of God can be found within me always?  Convict me when I step away from that understanding even for a minute, Spirit, and let all my thoughts and actions be a conduit for You to shine the Son to the glory of the Father.

"Amen."

Currently Listening MMHMM By Relient K see related

I needed this night to relax.  I know I probably needed to spend it working more, but it was good to settle a bit after the week.  Watched Bridge of Blood with Kathleen and played Halo for a bit with the guys in the hall--solid relaxation, both of them.   Definitely makes the thought of hitting the books tomorrow seem a little more manageable.  A little.

With that, it is definitely time for bed.  Well--need to read a bit in my Bible and spend a little time in prayer.  But then it's sleep so I can get up and at it in the morning.

Currently Gaming King's Quest VI: Heir Today, Gone Tomorrow (PC) By Sierra see related

I...I don't think I'll be going somewhere safe.

I know that's an odd place to start, but that thought just knocked me off my feet tonight at World Missions Fellowship.  When Dr. Mathai read that verse, Romans 15:20-21, my soul echoed it.

"And so I have made it my aim to preach the gospel, not where Christ was named, lest I should build on another man's foundation, but as it is written: 'To whom He was not announced, they shall see;  And those who have not heard shall understand.'"

That's what I want to do.  Like Roger, Ed, Nate, Jim, and Pete before me, I want to take the gospel to people who have never had the chance to hear it!  I want to take it to the people with the greatest need!  To the people who are dying "without ever a chance."

And in today's world, that's still a dangerous endeavor.  Very dangerous.  So many of the people that have never heard live in countries that are literally closed to the gospel--places where if I went I would have to face daily suffering and the very real potential of death.

That scares me.  That really, really scares me.  It should, I suppose.  While I must be willing to give my life for Christ, to do so brashly would not seem a right understanding of the gospel.

But who knows what the future holds? (That's a rhetorical question; if you don't know the answer, ask me sometime). 

Hmm.

I rest on Thee.